Mars: You know, I've been scratching my head lately about why some teams just *gel*, you know? And others... well, they're just kind of dragging their feet. It feels like it's more than just hitting targets and deadlines, right?
Mia: Totally. You've nailed it. At its core, it's all about relationships. It's about whether people feel seen, heard, and actually valued by one another.
Mars: Interesting. So, are you saying it's not *just* about setting those KPIs, but also about those little everyday interactions? Like, the Hey, how's it going? type of stuff?
Mia: Exactly! Think of it like gardening. You can plant the best seeds – the greatest strategy, crystal clear roles – but if you never water them with genuine human connection, then nothing really blooms. You're just left with dirt.
Mars: That's a neat image. It reminds me of this story I heard about a networking event. This poor guy spent the whole evening pitching himself, but nobody really listened. By the end, he just felt totally invisible.
Mia: Right, that’s the perfect example. When you walk into a room and people don’t give you the time of day, your social self-esteem – your sense of I matter – just plummets. You end up shrinking back instead of reaching out. It's like being a wilting flower.
Mars: Which, ironically, makes you even *less* likely to connect. So, what's the fix? How do leaders actually step in and change that dynamic?
Mia: Leaders need to model what I call respectful engagement. There's this researcher, Jane Dutton, she calls it valuing someone's dignity. Simple acts – asking for someone's opinion, acknowledging even small wins – these signal, Hey, you matter here.
Mars: Got it. But I guess sometimes managers are so task-focused, they just completely skip that part, right? Like, Just get it done!
Mia: Totally. They might say, Just put yourself out there, but if you're already doubting your worth, that advice just falls flat. You can't ask someone to be confident when they don't feel valued in the first place. It's like telling someone to run a marathon when they haven't even learned to walk.
Mars: So, we're talking about building that social self-esteem first, making sure people know their voice actually counts.
Mia: Yes, exactly. There's this upward spiral effect. When you show someone they matter, they become more open to building genuine relationships. And those relationships fuel better teamwork, more trust, and even boosts in creativity and…wait for it…immunity!
Mars: Whoa, immunity? I thought that was just biology class stuff.
Mia: Nope! There was this research by Schroeder and Fishbach, and they found that feeling known by a colleague can actually improve your overall well-being. When you're comfortable, your body relaxes, and your brain functions better. It’s all connected.
Mars: That’s wild. So, good workplace vibes actually make us healthier.
Mia: Exactly! And healthier, happier people naturally help each other more, pitch in when times get tough, and they stick around. It's a win-win.
Mars: Makes sense. Before we wrap up, any go-to tip for leaders who want to kickstart this whole making people matter thing?
Mia: Sure. Start by asking open questions in your one-on-ones. Something simple like, What's on your mind? Then *really* listen. No checking your phone, no thinking about your next meeting. And follow up! Show that you remembered and you care.
Mars: Awesome. So, bottom line: grow those relationships, water them with attention and respect, and watch your culture flourish.
Mia: You got it. When people feel like they matter, they act like it. And *that's* how healthy cultures take root and thrive.
